Dead beat...er...Bert

How do you react when someone tells you that they have a scorpion for you? Well if you are anything like me, you might wonder what you said or did to the person that made them hate you all of a sudden and want you dead! It was this precise thought that struck me, when a friend of mine rather generously said that she had indeed brought me back a scorpion from her trip out of town. Seeing the shocked expression on my face she quickly added that the scorpion was dead, but that did little to comfort me. A dead scorpion for a present! What would people think of selling next? She began to unzip her bag to take out the dead scorpion, and I was squirming at the thought of having to open out my palm and accept it. Thankfully for me the moment was deferred for a while with the teacher entering class at just that instant. Alas! It was only temporary relief. After the hour was up, she seemed to have forgotten it. But after two, there she was, excitedly grinning, and dangling a zip lock bag in front of my face. I was relieved to find that the scorpion was embedded in a block of plastic. I suppose that it was evident from the expression on my face that I was not used to receiving dead animals as presents and so she explained... Apparently she had bought the scorpion from some Tibetan monks. She had originally stocked up to them with the sole intention of reprimanding them for killing scorpions and selling them. But when they told her that they only used scorpions that were already dead, she quickly fished out money and bought a bunch of them. The sage monk is said to have told her that the scorpion would protect you from bad luck. Now how something that is unfortunate enough to have spend the rest of its decomposable days embedded in a block of plastic, is going to be able to protect me from bad luck, is far beyond me. Not only that, I quite frankly think that it is rather disgusting looking. Ugly is the word for the critter. But the fact of the matter is I actually think I like it now. Other than the fact that it was given to me with all good intentions and good wishes, there’s something about that arachnid that simply grows on you. ‘Tis true I am afraid, that I now have a dead pet. I have decided to call him Bert. He resides in his plastic block, is not fussy at all and doesn’t eat. All largely owing to the fact that he is dead! Thus, he is by far the easiest pet to maintain. Of course I can’t play fetch with him, but well, we can’t get that picky now can we?! But the best part about him – if you are nearly dropping off to sleep in class, a look at Bert’ll ensure that you are wide awake!

So when you’re dead beat, it’s time for dead Bert!

-Vaishali